Friday, November 13, 2009

It's Official:

I have a heart defect.

Yep. I have Wolf Parkinson White syndrome, which means that there's some kind of extra nerve thing that lets electricity through in the wrong place. It's not uncommon and usually not dangerous, but in a small percentage of cases, it can cause death.

(Minor) surgery is being scheduled. Far more irritating is that I have to wear this ginormous monitor for 30 days. (Aside: "Ginormous" is accepted by Blogger's spellcheck, and yet neither "Blogger's" nor "spellecheck" is. I'm not sure what to make of this.)

I had to race back from the hospital to teach class, ginormous monitor-box strapped to my hip and dangling its ginormous black cord (which snakes up under my shirt to four electrical sensors). So I just told them what the thing was--first, however, making a quip about having been turned into a cyborg, which only partly worked because one student kept asking what "cyborgs" was and seemed to have comfused them with the Borg, and...well, jokes derail, I guess.

Anyway. No need for much sympathy (although my posting about it obviously belies that last statement). This is not a particularly big deal. But I haven't had surgery since I was five, so I'm a little freaked out about, you know, the possibility of DEATH or something. But my doctor has performed 1500 of these without a single fatality, so I can probably shelve those fears.

Feh. Stupid ginormous heart monitor. And you know I don't use stupid made-up words like "ginormous" lightly.

Anyway, tomorrow I'll drag my monitor off to a yoga class and then go to the yarn store, and that will cheer me up quite handily.


medieval woman said...

Well, shit. That totally sucks and I'm thinking all kinds of good mojo for your ticker (which will soon be all better!) and for your handling the ginormous heart monitor!

TD and I send lots of hugs!

Sisyphus said...

Bleah! I hope you get all better soon!

Maybe you should cheer yourself up even more by posting some pics of lovely yarn finds, hint, hint. :) Or of finished projects?

I've only finished two halves of scarves in the past year or so. No, they're not the same scarf. And I think my nephew was playing with and ruined the yarn from one of them and hid it and won't tell me and now I can't finish it. Alas.

But anyway I hope you will only have to worry about the stupid heart monitor for a little while and then go back to all the other fun things!

P said...

I agree that you have absolutely nothing to fear, but I understand why you are a little anxious. And because of that, I offer you a ginormous cyberhug.

Notorious Ph.D. said...

I hope all goes well, and I admire your dedication in schlepping the thing to yoga. I'd probably just use it as an excuse not to go. Not that I need one these days.

What Now? said...

Wow, I'm so sorry, HM. I'm sure it will all be fine, but surgery is always scary. When will the operation happen -- after the 30 days of the monitor? Is this your "what a fun way to spend the winter break" plan?

Maude said...

I'm sorry to hear this, but I'm glad that you're in good hands with the doctor.

I'm sorry that your cyborg quip was lost on the students, too (uh, don't they at least know Terminator?). You're like the bionic woman now or the Six MIllion Dollar Man! Resistance is Futile! (as I mix sci-fi all over the place here).

Digger said...

Ah, sorry to hear this. I know someone who had this also, and the surgery was very, very minor and successful. Still, who needs the stress?

I'm completely baffled that your student didn't know what a Cyborg was. Then again, I was stumped when my class didn't know what a falafel was...

heu mihi said...

Thanks, all, for the comments. Digger, there are ever so many baffling things that my students have not known, although sadly I can't think of an example right now (and, to be honest, I'm sure that they feel the same way about me...and I'm really not that old! Only 15 years older than my freshmen! Oh wait...damn, that's old).

Surgery is scheduled for January 6. It should be quick and minor and just fine.

The really annoying thing about the monitor, now, isn't so much its presence (I've figured out a better way to wear it), but the fact that I am now *obsessively* attending to my heart. I need to push a button every time I have an "event"--which is normally really infrequent--and now I'm convinced that I'm going to miss one, or something. It's ridiculous.

Good Enough Woman said...
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