To sum up my recent activities: After the MLA and the VGS rejection, TB came to Field Town for a week-long visit. He's just left, and it was rather a sadder parting than usual, because in a couple of days he'll be leaving for a long sojourn on the other side of the world. I'm hoping to make it out there in March and then again at the end of the semester, but it's an expensive flight and my life is currently too unsettled (i.e. will I have a job?) to plan things at all in advance.
So here I am, staring down the barrel of another semester (classes start tomorrow), and hoping that I'm not too many more job searches away from a livable life.
All right, fine: that was melodramatic. Life is livable. I'm just ready for a life lived in one place, with the person I want to be with, and the possibility of a family. Forgive me; I'm in a low place this morning.
And I have things to do. Doing concrete things is one reasonably reliable way of getting out of low places. Here's a list:
- look into airfares to Other Side of the World, estimate taxes, try to come up with a budget so that I can fly there twice
- buy a humidifier so that I don't wake up choking on the dryness of the air or drive myself crazy with itching
- prepare my classes
- make granola for the week's breakfasts
Teaching will not be the whole of my life. I will keep it in perspective. To that end, I hereby resolve to not be the very best possible teacher every single day. Because if I'm constantly trying to be the very very bestest, as I was last semester, I will be exhausted and every day that I'm not perfect will demoralize me. Moreover, my life will be unsatisfying and lopsided.
During MLA, I realized that I missed research. It was such a pleasure to talk about my dissertation during the interviews that I know I need to get back into it. I'm not going to have the time or resources for serious research this semester, but I have to get the book proposal out, and I need to revise the intro. I also need to prepare a job talk and a teaching demo--one of last month's phone interviews has yielded a campus visit, and I must get on that.
There. I feel better. The weepiness has subsided. Nothing like a list....