Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Metamorphosis

After a night of disturbing dreams, jb awoke to find herself transformed into Henry VIII.

This morning is convocation, and I have to wear my regalia for the first time. How does that hood thing work, anyway?

My dreams were, in fact, disturbing, by the way. One convoluted weirdo dream after another. I can't remember much in the way of details (lucky readers!), but some of the highlights included a deranged old woman who killed her caretakers with a paring knife and the discovery of a dungeon in my parents' basement.

The best part, however, I do remember. Voldemort called me up and commanded me to cook a pound of spaghetti. I did so, despite my mother's protests, although I was so nervous that I couldn't decide whether to drain the pasta or just give it to him with the cooking water. Finally I did drain it and put it into a glass jar for transport. When the Dark Lord showed up to collect it, he was hungry, and commanded me to cook him some spiral pasta for supper (the spaghetti had another destiny, more sinister I'm sure). But, when it was still in the colander, I accidentally poured lobster sauce on it instead of olive oil. Voldemort was in a towering rage! I was afraid. But luckily I was able to remove the offending pieces of pasta, and recalled that I had some homemade pesto in the freezer. The Dark Lord was satisfied. So satisfied, in fact, that he condescended to make out with me a little bit. (Just a little bit. The dream was mercifully hazy on this point.)

I am amused. Which is a good way to start off the semester.

2 comments:

medieval woman said...

Holy Shit! Making out with V? Is it the Ralph Fiennes thing or the character?

And I know exactly how you feel about the H VIII thing...

jb said...

I don't know--I am not responsible for my dreams!!!

(I enjoyed wearing the regalia, though, I confess! GradUni has some pretty sweet ones....)