New Year, New Feeling

Well, this is different.

My first year of teaching, I started every semester--nay, every day--quaking with dread. Okay, that's an exaggeration--but a really slight one, honestly. I feared teaching. I looked forward to its end. Sometimes, during class itself, I liked it all right...but I inwardly rejoiced at the end of every hour, every week, every semester.

That's no way to live a life, right? Just waiting for it to end?

As it happened--and as typically happens, and as I expected to happen--the dread and the fear diminished with time. In my second year, I noticed that I did not actively dread each class; I even seemed less sweaty. By last year (my third), there was little or no anxiety most of the time; I no longer feverishly reread my notes right up until class time, and I had figured out that just being, you know, a mostly-normal person in class, one who talks to students and pauses and makes jokes and whatnot, made teaching feel almost natural. This year, I'm feeling even more at my ease, and I like getting to know my students and interacting with them in class (for the most part).

Today was our first day back; I just had one class, at 9:30. I wasn't nervous (not consciously; my body does persist in having some first-day-nervous-symptoms, but I don't actually feel it in my brain, which is where it counts) (if that makes any sense) (okay, to give you an example, at one point I just kept dropping the caps of dry-erase markers on the floor, and I noticed that my hands had a little shake to them, which surprised me, because I didn't feel nervous. That's what I mean) (I also like completely lost my voice about 10 minutes in to class--which is something that I think happens in the first class of every semester, now that I think about it! I'm going to need to start carrying water on Day 1) (and I'm going to end this sentence now because it's way too long).

(Let's start again.)

I wasn't consciously nervous (how's that?), but neither was I, like, thrilled to be back in the swing of things. When people say that they're eager to get back intp the classroom, I don't really know what they're talking about--as much as I like my job, I would always rather be able to stay home and read some interesting books than to have to go someplace, and be prepared, and talk, you know? But today, about 20 minutes into the class, I realized that I was having fun.

And even when I first walked in, I said "Good morning!" with more real enthusiasm than I think I usually do. And I was happy to see the students whom I've had before.

And, as I was leaving class and a new class was filing in, several of the students in the new class waved and greeted me cheerily. One did pretty miserably in my class last year--but it was good to see her. I felt...happy.

So, um. This probably makes it sound like I'm normally a miserable wretch who hates teaching; such is not the case. Teaching is pretty fun. But, again, I'd always rather be on vacation. But today? For a little while? I was happy to be back in the classroom.

How freaking weird is that?

THERE. That wasn't so hard, was it?

You know how, when you have one paper to grade, it's like the most difficult thing in the world?

Well. I've had a paper (fulfilling a well-deserved Incomplete) sitting on my desk since I got back from my holiday travels--that is, for 16 days--and I just couldn't bring myself to deal with it.

The worst [or best?] of it is, I knew that it was going to be an excellent paper. It was from my upper-division seminar, by an excellent student, and I'd seen a draft (which was quite good). There was no question; it was going to get an A.

But I dawdled.

And dawdled.

And, since classes don't begin until Tuesday, had very little incentive to grade it (other than to finally cross it off my list of things to do).

So, tonight, finally, I made myself do it--in part because I spent the early part of the evening clearing miscellaneous papers off of my desk (this is my home desk, mind) and it felt good, so I wanted to get this thing off, too.

And yes, it was an excellent paper. It got an A. And it took me all of 15 minutes. And it was an interesting paper that I actually enjoyed reading.

So what in the world is my problem, anyway?

I think that we need to resurrect this old picture:


--lest I forget who and what I am.

Happy new year!

We are home, home, home! It is exquisite.

We got back at around noon yesterday--after an all-day drive on Thursday, a little dinner party and an overnight in City to the North, and then a mere 2.5 hours of driving yesterday. It's good to be here--everything is exactly where it ought to be. Both TM's parents and my mother are not...um, like us (or, especially, me) when it comes to housekeeping and home arrangement. TM's folks just have loads of stuff--stacks of magazines and books and papers, boxes and boxes of crackers or whatever--stashed around the house (not like hoarders, but like people who don't get rid of stuff--there's a difference, really), and my mom is an artist whose dense, dark, creepy little collages sort of expand out to fill the entire house. Her house is very interesting, but it's also a complete mess and drives me a bit crazy. We, on the other hand, are all about the open space and the findability of objects and light coming in through the windows and whatnot. I love our house.

New Year's Eve was a very quiet affair. We're both still recovering from the Most Enduring Colds Ever, and were also rather tired; thus, we spent the early afternoon having a Family Nap with the cats in the guest room (they're not allowed in the bedroom). In the evening, after dinner, we watched a couple of episodes of "The Office," ate chocolate cake, and were in bed before 11. Hurrah! I despise watching the ball drop (which we, being sans TV, couldn't really do anyway) and find New Year's generally overrated; since not a one of the parties that I've been to in Field Town has lasted past 10:15, I couldn't imagine that even a party would make it to midnight. Besides, there weren't any parties. So it was quite lovely to go to sleep and wake up at a reasonable hour, very rested, on New Year's day.

So today, I shall do the following, in an effort to a) get back on track with some stuff after the long trip and b) start the year off in a constructive fashion: 1) practice yoga at some point, and 2) work on an article proposal. Perhaps I shall also knit. And I need to walk down to the office to pick up an article. Oh, and I need to make granola.

Resolutions? I have two. One is to get my yoga practice in order. I subscribe to this online thing where I get streaming yoga videos for a very reasonable price, and I need to just do one of them every couple of days. That's all. The second resolution actually comes out of that reverb10 thing where people had to come up with a word that they wanted to define 2011. It made me think about how quick we are to think about resolutions in terms of improving our own lives--but maybe it'd be good (at least for me) to think outside of my own comfort? So the word/resolution that I thought of was "Kindness." I'm going to try to be kinder, just in general. Not that I'm horrible as-is, but I can be selfish, and impatient, and surely my comments on students' papers could be less sarcastic now and again. Thus, resolution no. 2.

I shall conclude this post with pictures of the guest room, which is where we napped yesterday. Enjoy!

Bad blogger with good excuses

Yeah, I know, house pictures, etc. Whatever. After my last post I was hit with some kind of ghastly stomach bug that knocked me out for a couple of days (I spent two days in bed--I don't think that I've ever done that before), and then that was followed up with a cold that primarily attacked my throat and voice. Now I'm in Momtown, after a couple of Internet-less days in TMville, and my voice might be starting to come back--it hasn't been normal since Sunday.

Despite all that, things are good! The cold has been more annoying than debilitating, as I've actually felt fine since about Tuesday. My energy level is even getting back up to normal; I lost eight pounds over the weekend (vomiting and loss of appetite'll do that to you!), and my body is taking a little while to fully recover. But that just means that I get to eat extra seven-layer bars at Christmas.

Happy holidays, everyone!

House, Part II

For some reason I had a really hard time photographing these rooms successfully. Well, you get the idea. Here's the dining room:




Like the living room, it has three south-facing windows. Since these pictures were taken, TM resurrected the French doors from our attic and put them back up in the doorway between the living and the dining rooms; they're quite lovely!

And we put our Icon in the phone alcove next to the kitchen door:


For reasons I won't get into (= not very interesting, but complicated), I am really tired and need a shower. Thus, that's it for today.

House, Part I

So the house pictures are going to have to come in phases, I'm afraid--a) because I have so very many of them (lucky you!) and b) because it's the only way to get me to post more than once a month, apparently.

All the pictures have been imported AND reduced to a manageable size, though, so I have no further excuses! Here goes.

Up for today: The Outside of the House and the Living Room.

1) Outside. Here is what my house looks like.




Isn't it darling? Isn't it sweet? Doesn't it have a striking front porch? (Ignore the aluminum siding, please.) Our little bungalow was built in 1900 and, in the '30s and '40s, was a grocery store/coffee shop. This means that it's almost certain that Field's Most Famous Alumnus drank coffee in our house at some point. This seems impressive, but for the fact that our offices are also in the building where he used to have swim practice or something. Anyway. I don't like FMFA anyway, so we can all just get over this bit of trivia.

2) The Living Room. The living room comes in many parts. First, the light:


The room faces South and West, so that's the sunset through our almost-brand-new windows.



Cats enjoy the view.



I love the light in this house. The living room, dining room, and kitchen all face South, so the light just glows across the hardwood floors all day. The windows all seem to come in twos and threes, too, so there's a wonderful feeling of openness in every room.

The living room is so big that we decided to have it house our desks as well as our "social furniture," and there's still plenty of space:


We just got the couch--which dates from the '20s--off of Craig's List at quite a good bargain. Despite appearances, the velvet is all the same color (there's some weird reflection thing going on in this picture).


Of course, there are also fabulous built-in bookcases, and yes, the fireplace works. (We're waiting on a framer to finish with the piece of art that will go behind the mantel clock.)

And while we're in the living room, take a look at the Morris Chair we just found and had reupholstered:


What really sold us on it were these guys:


We've named them after (very obscure) Arthurian knights from Malory. Ten points to anyone who can guess what they are! Also, check out those vents--the cats love them (hence the cat bed in front of this one). Next time, when we're in the dining room, I'll show you the cats' favored sleeping-place.

And I'll leave you with the view from the living room into the dining room. We painted both of these rooms (as well as both bedrooms and the bathroom); the walls in both of these two rooms were originally white with brown-beige sponge painting. Not particularly attractive.


Pardon me while I bask in the beauty of my home....

Snow festival!

It is a Snow Festival around here, folks. A veritable Carnival of Wintry Precipitation! On top of the 6 inches we got last week (which melted a bit in yesterday's torrential [rain] downpour), we now have lots more snow with 25 mph winds, which may or may not qualify as "blizzard conditions." It's very cozy to be in our new house (pictures are finally taken; soon they'll even be downloaded!) with the very big, new, airtight windows and watch the snow fall. HOWEVER, we need to spend the afternoon cleaning the old house. Alas.

The real reason for this post is to signal my re-entry into the blogging world (I've been away for almost a month! It feels like quite a bit longer, actually). So: Hello there!