Monday, August 15, 2011

My happiness does not depend on ----

Everything starts tomorrow (we have 3 days containing meetings, including one all-day retreat, then classes begin on the 24th, except for that one Extra Special Class that starts on Sunday).

My wish tonight:

May I please not begin the year with resentment.

I had a flash of it tonight, you see. Resentment. Feeling unappreciated (how childish that sounds!). Recalling a promise that may not be delivered.

I ended the year--an otherwise pretty great year--on a not-great note, feeling taken for granted and put-upon. That feeling vanished over the summer. Tonight it resurfaced.

It's bad news, people. My happiness does not depend on the promise that may or may not be fulfilled. It does not depend on a raise, or a course release, or a small token of favor. These things are nothing.

Remember that.

4 comments:

Notorious Ph.D. said...

Do you meditate? It might help.

Sisyphus said...

Happy new school year! Happy detachment and enlightenment!

PS you should come visit!

Notorious Ph.D. said...

Sorry -- I just realized that my previous comment could be interpreted as snark. But it's really genuine. I've started daily guided meditation, and the hope is that it will get me away from letting negative feelings (anger, fear, etc.) drive me, and will remind me that I am not what I do or how people perceive me. At least, that's the plan.

heu mihi said...

Notorious--didn't seem snarky at all. I do meditate, actually, and it does help. I've also been talking to a couple of colleagues who also have the tendency to get overly wrapped up in college business, and we're going to try to help each other to detach somewhat (we're even planning to get together for yoga and conversation once a month!).

Sis--I should! That's an intriguing idea....