Okay. I've calmed down a little since my last post. And now, of course, I am besieged with doubts. I emailed my grad advisor and immediately got an Out of Office until Aug. 1 Autoreply, so s/he's of no use here. Who better to turn to, then, than the wisdom of les internets?
Here's my quandary. It can be boiled down to raging insecurity re. my work and a healthy dose of Impostor Syndrome: If this publisher is interested in my MS--and interested, moreover, after having had hardly any time to look at the proposal, which I sent out towards the end of last week--then how on earth can it be a reputable press?
Now, I KNOW that it's a reputable press, because a) it's peer-reviewed, b) it's the UP of a major U, and c) I used at least one of its books extensively in my dissertation and it was very good and tremendously helpful. So I suspect that I'm just self-sabotaging. Or maybe they just respond positively to every book proposal, but that would be a massive waste of time for them (as well as for me, because if I send them the MS--as I no doubt will, of course, despite my fretting--then I can't send it to anyone else for about three months). And it would be kind of a lousy thing for them to do. Right?
So okay, what's the alternative? The editor saw my proposal this morning, thought that it looked promising, and sent me an email.
...
...
...
What does it say about me that my immediate reaction to that sentence is "Yeah, right"?
So I don't know, trashcousins.* I just searched the Chronicle fora for the press, and the only thing that anyone has to say about it is that it's reputable (if not top-top-tier, which I knew) and that it has a very fast turnaround time. Both good things. So I guess my real question is this: Why am I so lame?
*Yes, I'm trying very hard to work this word into the vocabulary, but I don't know how well it's going to do; it doesn't exactly roll off the tongue. The two stresses in a row (trash/cuz) makes it hard to say. And also it doesn't sound very nice. It's a term of endearment, though, really it is!
Monday, July 14, 2008
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
An editor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to whom I sent a proposal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wants to see!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my complete manuscript!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Not an editor at #1 Big Shot Press, but at A Perfectly Respectable UP....)
How many more exclamation points could I get into this post?
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Not an editor at #1 Big Shot Press, but at A Perfectly Respectable UP....)
How many more exclamation points could I get into this post?
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Lo! I had been feeling inadequate!
In working up my many varied manuscript proposals, the word count had always made me cringe: just under 83,000 (actually closer to 82,000, but I rounded up because that just sounded lame). Longer books aren't necessarily better books, but I try to deal with a lot of things in mine--think two whole major genres of medieval lit encompassed in six close reading/analytic chapters and a couple of synthesis chapters, and that's pretty much what I'm working with--and 83,000 (or, fine, 82,300) seemed awfully...thin.
Then yesterday, as I was updating my word count post-revision, I discovered that Word's word-counter doesn't include footnotes. I mean, obviously it doesn't, but for some reason that never occurred to me.
Word count with footnotes? 95,600.
I assume/imagine that bibliographic footnotes don't (or shouldn't) count towards the total, but there is no living way that I'm going to go through 320 pages and figure out the word count total for bibliographic footnotes and subtract that from the total--nope, not happening. I have a number of substantive footnotes, though. Lots and lots of them, actually, as one of my primary Revision Strategies involved popping all the other scholarship on my texts into footnotes (you know, the paragraphs that go, "I think X. Scholar A also thinks X. In the words of Scholar B, 'X is correct.' Scholar C thinks that X could be nuanced in Y way, but ultimately X is the way to go"). So I've decided to split the difference and then round up slightly in my favor (hey, I might add a couple more paragraphs before the manuscript is complete) and to decree that my manuscript is now complete at 90,000 words, including substantive footnotes.
Huzzah! A properly book-length book has magically appeared on my hard drive!
Then yesterday, as I was updating my word count post-revision, I discovered that Word's word-counter doesn't include footnotes. I mean, obviously it doesn't, but for some reason that never occurred to me.
Word count with footnotes? 95,600.
I assume/imagine that bibliographic footnotes don't (or shouldn't) count towards the total, but there is no living way that I'm going to go through 320 pages and figure out the word count total for bibliographic footnotes and subtract that from the total--nope, not happening. I have a number of substantive footnotes, though. Lots and lots of them, actually, as one of my primary Revision Strategies involved popping all the other scholarship on my texts into footnotes (you know, the paragraphs that go, "I think X. Scholar A also thinks X. In the words of Scholar B, 'X is correct.' Scholar C thinks that X could be nuanced in Y way, but ultimately X is the way to go"). So I've decided to split the difference and then round up slightly in my favor (hey, I might add a couple more paragraphs before the manuscript is complete) and to decree that my manuscript is now complete at 90,000 words, including substantive footnotes.
Huzzah! A properly book-length book has magically appeared on my hard drive!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
A Distraction.
Shirtless men are wielding sledgehammers directly outside the window by my desk.
Perhaps I'm just not meant to get anything done today.
Perhaps I'm just not meant to get anything done today.
Lethargic Miscellany
I've been in a slightly weird state since I got back home. I don't know exactly why. Was it the return to all the old and varied stomping grounds? the 9 solid days of being with other people? the fact that I no longer have any immediate plans to get out of town? I'm not sure.
Here are the symptoms. 1) I'm tired. Exhausted. Yesterday I quite literally did nothing (except go swimming) until 5 pm, and even then all I did was go to the grocery store. I can't even account for the passage of time. And then this morning I'm still tired. Eventually I need to get back to work, I suppose, but it's hard when my head feels like it's about to roll off onto the desk. 2) A bit of moodiness and irritability, like the things that seemed really great a few weeks ago have all kind of lost their luster. I hope that this is just connected to the weariness and/or is a feature of my recovering from too much socializing, because it's not great.
It's possible, too, that I haven't entirely worked out all of the issues that I thought I'd worked out in the spring, and perhaps there are some leftover stresses, some things with which I still need to fully make my peace. I don't mean to be cryptic here, but I don't particularly want to be any more specific than that, either.
In any event, it is my hope--nay, conviction--that getting back into my usual routine and back to work will shape me up.
**********************************************
In that vein, let's move on to brighter topics:
**********************************************
* I have a $100 gift certificate to Amazon (courtesy of my credit card rewards system--I've been hoarding them for years, I kid you not) and have not yet decided how to spend it. A part of me wants to be totally frivolous and buy something like the complete Buffy series (which is more than $100, I'm quite certain), but perhaps there are better uses for my money. Like some nice work-related books that I need. Or a whole packet of novels. I don't know! And here's what's going to happen: The gift certificate will become so fetishized and precious that I'll never be able to bring myself to use it, and will actually spend money at Amazon for future purchases just so that I can keep the coupon. In order to prevent that from happening, I'm willing to take suggestions.
* I've received several very polite rejection letters in response to my manuscript proposals. A rejection letter is not normally a bright topic, of course, but I'm impressed by just how very polite and nice these rejection letters are (to paraphrase: "Dear Professor Mihi, Thank you for your very interesting proposal, it looks wonderful, just not right for us right now, etc etc'"). I've sent out loads of short stories and a handful of agent queries for novels over the years, and the rejection letters are not so nice ("Author: We received your submission and whatever tripe you've written, it's clearly not for us. Next time you might actually look at our journal before inundating us with your garbage; that way you'll know just how sub-par it really is."). So, even though I'm reasonably certain that I'm still receiving form letters (with my name and MS title plugged in), the tone of the letters is helping to preserve my optimism. Also, I've so far only sent my proposal to really absurdly top-tier publishing houses, so I can't get too discouraged yet.
Best of all:
I have a new favorite word: Trashcousin!
On my travels, I met a child (she turned four this week) who called everyone "trashcousin." The term apparently denotes some favor, or at least affectionate familiarity--as in, "Hey, trashcousins! What's happening?" It has something to do with Oscar the Grouch, but a Google search on the word yielded nothing, so I can only assume that it's her own creation. In any event I am now determined to get this into at least local circulation, as it seems like a word worth preserving. So, trashcousins! It's time I shake off this lethargy, maybe put on my glasses (contacts are too much work this morning; besides, I'm still in my pajamas), and read that chapter that's been idling on my computer lo these many weeks. Thanks for reading, trashcousins!
Here are the symptoms. 1) I'm tired. Exhausted. Yesterday I quite literally did nothing (except go swimming) until 5 pm, and even then all I did was go to the grocery store. I can't even account for the passage of time. And then this morning I'm still tired. Eventually I need to get back to work, I suppose, but it's hard when my head feels like it's about to roll off onto the desk. 2) A bit of moodiness and irritability, like the things that seemed really great a few weeks ago have all kind of lost their luster. I hope that this is just connected to the weariness and/or is a feature of my recovering from too much socializing, because it's not great.
It's possible, too, that I haven't entirely worked out all of the issues that I thought I'd worked out in the spring, and perhaps there are some leftover stresses, some things with which I still need to fully make my peace. I don't mean to be cryptic here, but I don't particularly want to be any more specific than that, either.
In any event, it is my hope--nay, conviction--that getting back into my usual routine and back to work will shape me up.
**********************************************
In that vein, let's move on to brighter topics:
**********************************************
* I have a $100 gift certificate to Amazon (courtesy of my credit card rewards system--I've been hoarding them for years, I kid you not) and have not yet decided how to spend it. A part of me wants to be totally frivolous and buy something like the complete Buffy series (which is more than $100, I'm quite certain), but perhaps there are better uses for my money. Like some nice work-related books that I need. Or a whole packet of novels. I don't know! And here's what's going to happen: The gift certificate will become so fetishized and precious that I'll never be able to bring myself to use it, and will actually spend money at Amazon for future purchases just so that I can keep the coupon. In order to prevent that from happening, I'm willing to take suggestions.
* I've received several very polite rejection letters in response to my manuscript proposals. A rejection letter is not normally a bright topic, of course, but I'm impressed by just how very polite and nice these rejection letters are (to paraphrase: "Dear Professor Mihi, Thank you for your very interesting proposal, it looks wonderful, just not right for us right now, etc etc'"). I've sent out loads of short stories and a handful of agent queries for novels over the years, and the rejection letters are not so nice ("Author: We received your submission and whatever tripe you've written, it's clearly not for us. Next time you might actually look at our journal before inundating us with your garbage; that way you'll know just how sub-par it really is."). So, even though I'm reasonably certain that I'm still receiving form letters (with my name and MS title plugged in), the tone of the letters is helping to preserve my optimism. Also, I've so far only sent my proposal to really absurdly top-tier publishing houses, so I can't get too discouraged yet.
Best of all:
I have a new favorite word: Trashcousin!
On my travels, I met a child (she turned four this week) who called everyone "trashcousin." The term apparently denotes some favor, or at least affectionate familiarity--as in, "Hey, trashcousins! What's happening?" It has something to do with Oscar the Grouch, but a Google search on the word yielded nothing, so I can only assume that it's her own creation. In any event I am now determined to get this into at least local circulation, as it seems like a word worth preserving. So, trashcousins! It's time I shake off this lethargy, maybe put on my glasses (contacts are too much work this morning; besides, I'm still in my pajamas), and read that chapter that's been idling on my computer lo these many weeks. Thanks for reading, trashcousins!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Wow. Go away for a week and come back to instant fame!
Just a quick note because I'm about to die of fatigue:
I got home this evening after a two-day drive. I checked email and took a look at my stat counter (expecting low hits because, after all, I've been away). But no! There were many many hits! Many more than I've ever had before!
Apparently I have been linked here. And apparently I have "plenty to write about." Which is good to know, because I usually feel like this blog is kind of circling over the same non-issues week after week. It would seem, however, that I've succeeded in interesting someone.
Expect more updates on the non-issues in my life soon, for I do have plenty to write about them. Whether I actually get around to the writing is, of course, another matter.
I got home this evening after a two-day drive. I checked email and took a look at my stat counter (expecting low hits because, after all, I've been away). But no! There were many many hits! Many more than I've ever had before!
Apparently I have been linked here. And apparently I have "plenty to write about." Which is good to know, because I usually feel like this blog is kind of circling over the same non-issues week after week. It would seem, however, that I've succeeded in interesting someone.
Expect more updates on the non-issues in my life soon, for I do have plenty to write about them. Whether I actually get around to the writing is, of course, another matter.
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