Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Actually

What I really want, in how I live my life, is not to miss it. Life, I mean.

I want to live my life, moment to moment. I want to notice it. This is nothing new and nothing deep, but each of us, I imagine, has different barriers to that kind of present relishing of everydayness.

Mine:
-worry about money (and therefore not enjoying what I inevitably spend it on)
-worry about being late (and therefore feeling rushed, harried, irritable)

I am not going to resolve to not worry about these things, as that seems ridiculous and impracticable. When I do worry, however, I will try to remember that this is my life, and that I don't want to miss it.

3 comments:

Good Enough Woman said...

This year I will need to finish my dissertation while still being a mother, a wife, and a tenured faculty member in English with a 4/4 heavy comp load at my community college. I am already missing the life I'm going to miss this year (how is that for not being present?). But surely I can do it, right? And then it will be finished, and next year I won't miss as much.

I'm sure there are much better ways to look at the work ahead so as not to think that I won't be missing my life, but I can't think of them right now.

I hope you miss very little of life in Idyll this year!

heu mihi said...

Well, also, what you'll be doing will BE life, right? It's all "life".... What I mean is, if you're teaching your comp class and really in it, experiencing it, rather than thinking about what you'd rather be doing/worrying about getting the grading done/whatever, then you're not missing life. If that makes sense.

Anyway, yes, you can do it, and that dissertation will be DONE!!! Good luck and congratulations on being so close!

What Now? said...

I've really enjoyed these two New Year's posts. There's something powerful about a resolution to NOTICE one's life.