I'm in a really strange state right now. I'm waiting to hear about something--have been waiting for a while--and I feel like I can't do anything else until I do.
It is not, of course, the case that I can't do anything. I can do plenty. I can work on my chapter, for example, which I'm trying to do--but working on my chapter means that I'm working on the computer, which means that I can keep checking email and noodling around distracting myself or, more accurately, indulging my heightened state of distraction.
It's a problem of not being able to envision the future. I need to know this thing right now and there is NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT arrrrgh gah powerlessness no control maybe I'll go buy something. (Nope, already indulged that impulse once and won't do it again. Not today, anyway.)
I'm sorry to be so cryptic. This post serves no purpose except to further indulge my distraction and give me the space to complain for a minute about NOT KNOWING AND LOSING MY MIND.