Sunday, December 31, 2017

Macabre musings on New Year's Eve

Ever since becoming a grown-up--by which I mean, since turning 35; or, more acutely, since turning 40; and, even more acutely, since the despair induced by the 2016 elections--I've been pretty un-keen on the turning of the year. The passing of time. The reminders of age, transience, and mortality. I look at my hilarious brilliant five-and-a-half-year-old son, and I can't bear to think of him growing too old, too soon, you know? And--more to the point--I can't bear to think of myself grown old-old, the world failing through the travails of global climate change, und so weiter und so weiter etc.

Why?

I mean, yes, death. Not much fun to contemplate. In the end I do think that it's the work of life to come to terms with death, something that seems more urgent yearly, if not daily. This is the call, for me, to practice, to meditate, to deepen. I don't do it much; certainly not enough. Every year, it's a resolution. Every year, it fails. Will this one succeed?

Because otherwise, the passage of time yields little to fear--at least, if experience is the measure. I'm really happy with where my life is. I have a lovely little family. I love my job, and it looks like I might secure tenure this year (so far, so good). I love where I live. I have a wonderful yoga studio that's also a kind of spiritual sanctuary for me. (And there's church, of course, where my husband pastors, which makes it a little bit unusual and peculiar, but that's generally good, too.) I'm increasingly physically fit (although my weight has gone up! Wtf? Vowing not to worry about this, too. Muscle mass, I tell myself). My son is thriving, and more astonishing by the day.

So the years have been kind, very kind. And really, I wouldn't go back in time, certainly not to the fun-but-also-weirdly-horrible 20s, or the better-but-professionally-frustrating 30s. And the political situation? It has the feel of something that must be confronted, and pushed through. May we come out stronger in the end.

Death is its own thing. I'm working on it.

Happy new year, everyone.

5 comments:

What Now? said...

Happy new year to you as well, Heu. The political situation has also made me rather glum about this particular change of year. Sure, we survived 2017, but we have three more years under this horrible president, and I see no assurance that we'll survive those. But, at the same time, like you, I have a lovely little life that makes me happy, and that's a place to start in feeling grateful for last year and looking with hope to the new year.

undine said...

Happy New Year, heu mihi!

Fie upon this quiet life! said...

Happy new year! I try not to think about death too much, especially because my kids are still young enough that it would technically be tragic if I were to die on them. (That probably sounds weird, though I meant it to be funny.)

I think the passing of time for me just signifies that I feel like I’m missing out on a lot of stuff because I’m so damn busy all the time. That’s frustrating. But the small good things in my life are pretty great.

Admin Blog said...

Artikel syang sangat bagus dan bermanfaat ini sangat membantu untuk pengetahuan untuk orang tang masih tidak tau

Kunjungi Situs Caramenangtaruhanbola.com Merupakan Website informasi judi online yang memberikan ulasan Situs Judi Online, Taruhan Bola, Poker Online, Dominoqq, Judi Togel, Agen Bola, Taruhan Bola Online, Cara menang Judi Bola di indonesia yang mengulas tips dan trik dalam bermain judi online.

Dominoq
Agen Bola
Trik Judi
Judi Togel
Panduan Judi
Poker Online
Informasi Judi
Info Judi Online
Review Bandar Judi
Review Bandar Judi Pokerqq
Review Bandar Judi Bola
Review Bandar Judi Togel
Cara Menang Judi Bola
Taruhan Bola Online
Cara Menang Taruhan Bola
Cara Menang Taruhan Bola Online
Cara Menang Taruhan Bola Poker Online
Cara Menang Taruhan Bola Judi Togel
Informasi Situs Judi
Info Situs Judi Bola Resmi
Informasi Situs Agen Sbobet
Info Bandar Bola Terpercaya
Info Bandar Judi Bola Online
Informasi Situs Judi Pokerqq
Info Situs Poker Online Resmi
Informasi Bandar Ceme Terbaik
Info Agen Judi Bola Terpercaya
Info Situs Judi Bola Terpercaya
Panduan Bermain Judi Bola Online
Informasi Agen IDN Poker Terpercaya
Informasi Situs Judi Qiu Qiu Online
Daftar Bandar Bola Online Terpercaya

norco10mgwebsite said...

What a great content we have here buy painkillers online as we browse we also see this blog too and is pretty good buy norco online we also realize that blog are good for business we also bring buy oxycodone online best blog to visit